Diaries of a teenager

Day 2

Day 2 

As I woke up i finally felt awake, being able to sleep for the first time in days. The first thing i do is check my phone. I had 4 text messages, one from each guy im leading on. Dragging myself out of bed, i walk over to my bath room and splash cold water on my face, feeling awake and ready for another long day. I put on my makeup, which is my favorite

After my two classes, i packed my school bag and took a step outside. as soon as i opened door a chilly breeze touched my face. I only had a light jacket and a hoody from my work, not much to protect me from the cold. That didn’t bother me though, the sun was on my side today. As i walk across the road and over the train tracks i wonder how many people just like me walked cross these tracks..Ignoring my inner thoughts i keep walking down the muddy trail. Im so tired, I just wanna get home and sleep. If only i could actually do that. I get to go home and clean my basement instead of napping. Kyle is comming over tonight so i really dont want my basement to be a mess. This boy is 6’4”, tan, athletic, funny, super nice ,and very very attractive. The type of guy i would go out of my way to impress.

At about  9:30 Kyle finally showed up. i walk outside to see his fathers big white ford F150 parked outside of my house. I walk out to the truck to be greeted with a “get in” an enormous dazzling smile that he always gives me when i see him. I open the door just as the song  Crazy Girl by Eli Band Young starts playing. so we blast the stereo and start singing along as we make our way to get some ice cream. I think to myself: He’s so darn cute, with those dimples and bright hazel eyes. He’s the type of guy you want to show off to all your friends, too bad i know who the real Kyle is. Hes the Canadian national champ for the sport he plays and that means that he brags allot. He knows he’s attractive, so he’s full of himself. He is a player. The kind of guy that lifts up your spirits just to drag you down. We drive around for a few hours then we reach a four way stop, he sits there for allot longer then he should since there are no cars there. I don’t really know why he did that till i felt his hand on my chin. He turned my face towards him and kisses me. His lips are gentle against mine, not urgent just hesitant. He pulls away with a puzzled look on his face, not to sure what i did. I sit back in my seat as he drives me home in silence, if it weren’t for the radio you could hear a pin drop. Just as i reach the door he yells out his window: ” can we keep this a secret? you know, not tell anyone?” i reply with a fake smile and “of course we can.” And with that came a look of relief on his face and the sentence that took me back: “this was a mistake”

As soon as i get into the house i go straight to the basement and i lay on my bed. Am i really a mistake? that’s the last thing that goes through my mind before i fall sleep….

Day 1

Hi,
My name, is Alex. I’m just your everyday average teenage girl; i go to school, get my heart broken, drink, get stressed, every thing you’d expect from a 17 year old girl. One thing i do have, that most teenage girls think they have, is clinical depression. And this blog is my way of letting all the bad feelings out.
So here we go.

Day one,
I shifted and turned all night, images and memories flashing in my mind. How much time had passed? I look at the time on my phone, just to find out that it was 5:45. Since i have to wake up in 45 minutes i might as well just get up and get ready for school.  The exhaustion is very obviously shown on my face, the pigment drained of color, dark rings under my eyes and a dead expression. I guess this is what happens when you get 3 hours sleep in 4 days. I look at my reflection and notice how empty and dull my eyes look. I wonder, does anyone else notice this? Do my friends see this? Does my family? I wash my face, apply my best make up, and put on my best fake smile. i walk in to the kitchen to say good morning to my mom. Shes a 40-sum year old french Canadian who also has clinical depression. My mother and i don’t really talk, we never have and i don’t think that will ever change. Sad but true. 

I get to school to see my best friend Anna at her locker. Anna isnt just your typical normal looking girl. Anna is 5’9” swim suit model figure with 19” of healthy dark brown hair. Her angular face, green eyes and tan skin make her stand out so much more than everyone else.. Including me. She’s my barbie friend; the one friend that all the guys want and all the girls want to be. Shes my best friend, or i THOUGHT she was. I was wrong she turned her back on me like everyone else when i needed them. She isnt a real friend shes just someone there for the show of it. Math during first period is useless, and physics second period is too confusing. I space out in both classes and start wondering what people would say if i wasn’t around anymore. If the people that turned their backs on me, when i needed them most, would realize what they did wrong. i leave the school right after second period, walking extremely fast so no one would see the tears that started running down my face. I had no real reason to cry but it just happened. I arrive home 30 minutes later after taking the bus back to my neighborhood. I lay down in my bed and my mind finally lets me sleep….